I t hit me hard just a few years ago, this life is so short! How do we begin to make the most of it? Since this revelation, I feel my life has dramatically taken a turn for the best, filled with adventures and most often when opportunities arise I now respond with- Why not??
"Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away."
Sunday, June 19, 2011
I have continuously put off writing another entry in attempt to articulate my thousands of thoughts and feelings before posting.
I have written about the ministries I have been involved in, but I haven’t really talked about the burden that I have felt in many moments of being here…
There are times where I have had to hold back my tears just as I am sitting on the bus with time to think and take in all that I am seeing around me. Sometimes my stress comes from the way the culture works, other times from having a child following me along the street begging for food, or even just when I hear about a difficult situation a friend is going through. At times I have felt broken, and I wonder if this feeling is from God to show me what he feels for his creation. You can travel to the other side of the world and see that, yup, the world is just as twisted here as back in the States.
I did not need to come all the way to India to see that there is suffering. I have been to third-world countries before, so its not that it is completely rocking my world in that sense, but it just makes me wonder if suffering can be any worse just because you live in a third world country instead of America. The culture here may be very different, but can the amount of pain really be measured by our location or financial status? People are hurting here and people are hurting at home.
I had the privilege of hearing one ladies story from the slum in the sewing class. Her husband is an alcoholic and has struggled with this since the time they were married at a young age. He is not living with her and her girls right now because of his issues and is usually drunk when he comes back. I don’t think a story like this would be very hard to find in the great land of America either.
I don’t know what to do with all my ramblings, but one verse that the Lord spoke to my heart around about my second week here is 2 Corinthians 5…
“For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. Now it is God who made us for this very purpose and has given us the Spirit as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come...Therefore we are always confident and know that as long as we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord. For we live by faith, not by sight."
I just can ‘t help but constantly think of how the world just is not the way it was meant to be!
I may not have answers, but I know this is not all forever. And I know I am finding a whole lot of joy in the relationships I have built here. Those are what last and what matter anyway.
Like this week, getting to spend time with one of the teachers at the preschool and the young girl who works for her who is from the slum and her family is Hindu, but she is so eager to learn about Christ and listens to all the stories we tell the children along with working on her English with us. Got to cook Indian food, make Chai, and watch a Hindi movie with them today. Sometimes it is the little things in life….
(Well until the power went out, of course, so we couldn’t finish the movie ha)
Though I may have frustrations with the culture at times, my time here is beautiful. It is beautiful because of the geography, and it is beautiful because of the relationships that I have been blessed with here. This post is just me being vulnerable in the fact that this time has not always been easy on my heart.
My one prayer request would be that these last three weeks I am here:
That I can give my all to the relationships that I have formed. I pray that the Lord will sustain me so that I can pour out with all my strength. I tend to think I can go and go with out stopping to get refueled, which is one thing I learned in a deep way this week will not work.
I pray for dreams from the Lord for those here who have the desire to Believe, that their hearts will be softened and I can witness Him alive in these people. -There is also a new sewing class starting tomorrow, so I can't wait to meet these women.